Stir Crazy

I've been a virtual shut-in for the last two and a half weeks--only getting out when somebody with a car and a few free hours to kill happens to drop by. For a man with few friends (and making less everyday), this doesn't occur very often. I think my walls may actually be growing smaller...next time I go out I should get a tape-measure, then I can be sure. The air in my apartment is quickly growing stale and inhospitable to the fragile requirements of human lungs. And then to top everything off, I think someone keeps coming in at night while I'm sleeping, and moving everything into hard to reach locations so they can sit around laughing at me...they must have installed a camera while I was under the influence of their damnable anesthetic. Well, I'll show them. Tonight I'm going to stay up all night, sitting, waiting for them in the dark. Just me, my bottle of scotch, and Mr. 357...then we'll see who's laughing.