An Anniversary

Today marks the five year anniversary since the attacks on the World Trade Center. I'm certain, however, that this has slipped no one's attention, being as all the major news organizations have been harping on that subject since you awoke this morning. Well, now it's my turn to harp on it for a bit.

To begin with, my deepest sympathies and condolences go out to all who lost loved one's on that fateful day. That being said, I would like to take a quick look at what we as a nation have done over the last five years in response.

First we went to Afghanistan, where we toppled the Taliban and scattered al-Qaeda. This was done with international support, and a firm sense of justice felt by nearly everyone here in the U.S. If only we could have stayed focused on that task...but alas, our fearless (thoughtless?) leader had other fish that he was looking to fry.

(Just as a side note--am I the only one who heard him tell reporters that he wasn't concerned about Osama just a couple of years ago? And now all the rehtoric has come round full circle and the whole reason we're in Iraq, strangely enough, is because of Osama. Does anybody actually buy this shit? If so, it's probably the same people who buy Toby Keith records.)

Next we began to initiate a number of security measures, most of which destroy the very civil liberties that we are trying to protect--unauthorized wiretapping, secret prisons, the use of torture to secure confessions (can you say Salem witch trials?) and these are just the tactics that have been admitted to. All that's left is to start using chemical weapons on our own people...oh wait, we already installed Mike Leavitt as head of the E.P.A.

(Another quick sidenote: after his short tenure as head of the E.P.A. Leavitt switched over to head of Health and Human Services. To those of you who are not absolutely terrified by the prospect of this, this is the same man who unleashed whirrling disease upon all the lakes and streams in Utah so that his family business could stay going. Let us hope that he doesn't regard humans with the same disdain he has for wildlife.)

After that we proceeded to make the most monumental mistake in the history of America. We invaded Iraq. Not only was this completely pointless, but it was done in such a haphazard way that one would suspect the war plans had been drawn up by a half-retarded three year old. I apologize to all the half-retarded three year olds who may be reading this and taking offense at being compared to Rumsfield.

But alas, I feel I am becoming quite inebriated, and so I must bide my time and wait 'til I can further elucidate upon the particulars of why the Iraq war is so incredibly stupid. Until then...